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If Music Genres Were Alcoholic Drinks...

It's not unusual to automatically connect music with booze, it's always been a definite running theme over decades. The Gallagher brothers entertain the crowds with a Stella in hand, Matt Healy is very well known for carrying his bottle of red around with him on stage, and it's no secret that Dean Martin enjoyed a few whiskeys before showtime. But what if we summed up each genre of music with a certain type of beverage? Let's begin;

1. The Punk Rocker

12-pack of Stella Artois. I found a new phrase the other day called 'Punk Drunk' and the basic definition was 'while in this state, you feel the compulsive need to fight people, break stuff and listen to loud music'. Now if you've ever been to a punk gig then I think this pretty much sums up the event, and with Stella being known as 'fighting juice' this seems like a perfect fit.

2. The Country Singer

Whiskey on the Rocks. To me this one seems fairly obvious, I mean you heard of the song 'Tennessee Whiskey' right? Obviously, we're all aware of the multiple country songs that sing about heartbreak and whiskey, and with Nashville, Tennessee being the capital of Country music and the home of Tennessee whiskey I think this is all the explanation we need!

3. The Metal Head

Scrumpy Jacks. For this genre, it's got to be alcohol content over the actual taste. We've all been a sucker for walking into a bar and asking for 'a pint of your cheapest cider please'. In metal music, it's all about just that - the music. As long as you can be right there in the middle of a mosh pit, then that's all that really matters. And let's be honest when the drop happens, that whole pint is being sent sideways into the person next to you so the cheaper the better.

4. The Jazz Improviser

Classic Martini, shaken not stirred. Jazz for me is all about the class. It's smooth, it's eccentric, and it damn right hits the spot. The thing about a classic martini is that, yes it may not be to everyone's taste, but it looks the part and in a way, everyone wants to give it a try. It's the same with Jazz music, it may not be right up your street but I can guarantee you've given it a listen once or twice before.

5. The Filthy DnBer

Vodka & Red Bull. Energy, energy, energy. That's all you want and all you need, and this is what this drink will do for you. You want to walk into a room full of people and just completely lose your s***. It will get your heart racing, your blood pumping, and your feet moving. And with DnB music, pretty much the same!

6. The Indie Alternative

Craft Ale. Deep down we all love a bit of indie music, it's not commercialized, it's realistic and it pretty much does what it says on the tin. Sometimes when you listen to too much mainstream, it comes at the risk of becoming too predictable and repetitive. Well damn, why not try a craft ale, brewed specifically for you! It's different every time, it's unique and it truly is alternative.

7. The Classical

Negroni Sbagliato with Prosecco. With a cocktail like one of these, it's very clear that you like the finer things in life. Walking up to a bar and ordering one of these is a statement, you're very aware of what you like and no environmental influence is going to change this. Very much like the lovers of classical music and I'm ALL for this.

8. The Pop Charter

White wine and lemonade. There's not much to say on this one. You walk into a bar, the UK top 40 is playing on the radio, you order yourself a white wine spritzer and you perch on your usual table, close enough to the dancefloor just in case your fave tune comes on and you want a little boogie. It's simplistic, it's standard, it's pop music.

9. The Rock'n'Roller

Tequila Sunrise. Well because simply you're gonna be rock n rolling till that sun does rise. It's sweet but it doesn't half have a kick. Once you've got one down you, you'll want another and another until boom it's the early hours of the morning and you've been dancing for so long you feel like you've run a marathon. A bit like the music, it's addictive. If I'd been watching Elvis live, I guarantee you, I'd be screaming for another and another and... well you get the idea.

10. The RnBer

Pornstar Martini. The clues in the title on this one. With the lyrics of pretty much every RnB track containing some sort of sexual reference or innuendo, it's definitely one of the most risque genres of music out there. And if you've ever been to an RnB gig, whether it be Chris Brown or Beyonce, you'll know exactly what I'm getting at. But let's be honest, we all love a guilty pleasure, and for me, RnB AND pornstar martinis are just that.

11. The Grime Rapper

Courvoisier Cognac. Cognac and rappers have always had a strong connection, I'm sure you've heard the Stormzy song where he references his 'vossy'. It seems to be dropped into tracks as a reference for enjoying the finer things in life and sharing a good time. Courvoisier is associated with street culture, so obviously this was a bit of a no-brainer. Henessy was definitely up there as well but obviously, I had to stick with Stormzy on this one.

And that's that, something you never thought you'd want to read but really can relate to. Now I bet that read has made you a little thirsty, so go order yourself a drink.

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Apr 18, 2023
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